Accepting Conflict
It Happens...
The first part of accepting conflict is to realize that it is going to happen. You cannot do anything to stop it. You might be able to slow it down, and you might even be able to successfully avoid it for a while, but eventually conflict will arise. People are emotional, and emotions can influence thinking. Each person is unique, and has her/his own perspective. These different perspectives can lead to differing actions or decisions, which may be in conflict with another's actions or decisions. Whenever you have more than one person making a decision, you have the potential for conflict. So if it is going to happen what do you do about it?
Embrace It
Most likely conflict means you have moved beyond everyone just being nice, and group members are now seeing that they have a stake in the situation before them. Build on this interest and allow people to communicate their interests (see page on "Productive Groups"). Then use these interests to further discussion toward the required goal. Be wary of the blaming game, where those with a conflict blame someone or something else for creating the conflict and don't want to move to a solution. Again, helping them identify their interests and needs, as opposed to their wants, can help move the group through the conflict.
Don't forget to give people some time to think and cool off. You don't have to identify a break from the conversation for the purpose of cooling off. Rather you may decide that everyone has been sitting too long or that the hour is late. Put the conflict topic first on the agenda at the next meeting (be sure this meeting is coming up soon - too long a break and feelings can fester). Another option might be to change the flow of the meeting - have people write thoughts for a bit and then come back to conversation or break into smaller groups for some conversation on different aspects of the problem, then come back. The point is to break the negative flow of the conflict, to give you an opportunity to move into a positive flow.
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Be Ready When tension is high it is often hard to think quickly. Take the time now to write down 4 or 5 possible reasons for taking a break. Be sure they are reasons that you feel comfortable using. Sometimes people don't want to be reminded that they need to cool off, so a break for another reason can accomplish the same outcome. |
IPSP
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